Networks of charisma and serial abusers

A woman denounced a school friend of my older brother on social media. The guy was (or is) a serial sexual abuser. My brother was shocked, although I wasn’t. There was a familiar pattern in the case of this abuser, one that I have seen before. A guy, who showed solidarity with the woman and knew her and the abuser personally, was also surprised: ‘I could have never have seen it coming from him’. The girl replied: “This is the most terrifying part of his modus operandi. He works hard to win everyone: your family, your acquaintances… He makes sure the truth is impossible to believe.” 

Another unrelated conversation with a friend came back to my mind. It was on text, so I looked at it “most of the assaulters are always super charismatic ppl… thb I don’t know where it comes from”. 

I don't know if most of the assaulters are super charismatic people. But the fact is that those that are super charismatic are the ones who hold more power to do harm. 

They use their charisma to form extensive networks of acquaintances and friends. They form more friendships and admirers than one needs. 

Sincerely, I’ve become skeptical of these guys that form such extensive networks, even though I am not a potential victim. I’ve seen too many times the same pattern, yet I am not surprised. In a society that idolizes extroversion, it makes sense that people fall one time after another when a super charismatic guy enters the room. 

And it’d be stupid to put a negative stereotype on super extroverted folks just as it would be to reach quick judgments based on any other type of human expression. But it's also stupid to say 'he’s super cool' after holding just 1 great conversation. There may be reasons some people are so committed to having amazing chats, which adjust somehow perfectly to each person they know.